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Friday, October 13, 2006

Liar, liar, pants on fire

So, according to Doc, Laura's a big ol' faker. Too bad. I quite enjoyed her blog and she seemed like an interesting person. Laura, if you're reading this, and you really are a faker, perhaps you should consider writing novels - you create some very convincing characters and you write well. And when you get your novel published, come back and tell me so I can go buy it, 'cause I'd read your writing any time.

The thing is, though, I really don't know if Doc's telling the truth. Perhaps Doc's the faker and Laura's an innocent "victim". Who knows? Or maybe Laura is Doc's alter-ego and they're one and the same person. We just never know, do we? Come to think of it, for all you know, maybe Michele's really MY alter-ego and deep down somewhere in the dark recesses of my mind, I've hidden my inner dog-lover and gardener. (Although, her last few posts make the "dog-lover" part seem a little questionable.) If you believe my version of the truth, though, Michele is REALLY an amazing, smart, funny and compassionate person who's one of my best friends - in real flesh-and-blood life.

Yeah, it's true that we really don't know when we're being deceived online. But is that really any different than real life? I've been lied to in my real life too - by people I thought were friends. I used to have a friend (notice the past tense?) who was a pathological liar who concocted all kinds of stories about the classes she was taking, the friends she hung out with, the hard-luck stuff she'd lived through, etc. Mostly I just ignored it and chalked it up to a desperate bid for attention, but then the lies got personal. The deal-breaker was the rumour she spread that Marcel's breakdown and subsequent suicide attempt had something to do with the demise of our marriage and possibly even an affair. That was no longer ignorable.

I also knew a woman who got engaged to a man she thought was a gift from God. He treated her like gold and she was blissfully happy - until, by pure fluke, she discovered that he had a double life with a wife and kids. Big ol' liar.

Despite the knowlege that there will always be liars around, and some of them may even hurt me now and then, I much prefer to approach life with the assumption that most people are good people who tell the truth most of the time. I may get duped now and then, but I think life is happier if you don't live with paranoia and distrust.

And when it comes to blogs, well I'm just going to keep assuming that most of you are telling the truth. And if you're not - well, that won't really affect my life too deeply. If you're a good writer, and you enjoy creating an alternative universe, go for it. It's not really the end of the world. I think it's a little wierd and probably even a little sad, but who am I to say?

I think most of us are smart enough to realize that blogs are a form of entertainment and not really a replacement for real life. I never really understood all the hub-bub over "A Million Little Pieces". So what if it was all fabricated? Don't you read a book mostly for entertainment? It seems like lots of people were entertained (I never read it, so I couldn't really say), so was it the big travesty some people made it out to be? Now if he had been selling himself as a journalist for a reputable news service, then it would have been a different thing.

Yes, I have to admit that now and then I get a little nervous of having kids online, but even that doesn't worry me too much. My oldest daughter is one of the most cautious people I know, my second daughter would rather get lost in a book than a computer, and my youngest is still playing Elmo games. So I don't live in paranoia that they might fall into the hands of a predator online. We talk about it lots, and so far I don't see any reason for worry.

I'm not going to stop making blog friends just because some of you may be fakers. And those of you who are truly genuine people, thanks. You renew my faith in humanity. There are lots of truly wonderful people out there in blogland, just like there are in real life. Take the amazing Karla, for example - she's gone out of her way to help me fix my blog template. She's my new techno-hero, and she's nice in real life too.

18 comments:

doc said...

If you're stupid enough to believe that, then you're stupid enough to be taken in by someone who has done real damage. Don't say you weren't warned. I don't give a flyin' f - you asked where she was, and I told you.

M J said...

Ohh hostility! How lovely. Ignore that. Like deception, hostility comes easier via the web.

It's too bad Doc took that a little too seriously. It's true... you don't know if *anyone* here is telling the truth. I certainly don't. In fact, I assume everything I read is total crap until proven otherwise. I've been burned in the past so I am a bit on the defensive. That being said, I do think that life is better without paranoia and distrust. I think life is unhealthy otherwise. I am just a bit more cautious when using the big bad world wide web.

I think escapism and wanting attention are a big factor. I think that this happens both online and in real life. I have been lied to numerous time and I don't tolerate it anymore. That being said, I do enjoy a good read, whether it is fiction or not. A Million Little Pieces was a great read. I certainly didn't think it was very cool for the author to say that it had actually happened, then went on Oprah and acted like he was trying to help the world see his life with addiction. He was trying to be a "preacher" when he should have stayed an author. After all that was done, it was still a great book.

I think you are smart and honest. I think you can probably listen to your gut and know when big Red Flags are waving in your face.

But, in all honesty, you could be a dude. You just never know.

Even if you were a dude, I would probably keep reading because you are a great writer. Just don't tell me that you want to spend the rest of your life with me, and we will be AOK!

:-)

hehe.

andrea said...

Been peeking in on you via Joyce the past couple of days. You write really well. As for the veracity of blogs -- I want an anonymous one so I can let my imagination run wild. As long as it's tied to my work I have to be absolutely stright arrow. It's a bummer. :)

Liz said...

My goodness Doc...I think you just lost a bit of credibility there, don't you think? Why so hostile?

Thanks, Heather, for keeping it real.

Or are you? Dun dun duhhhhhhhh!!

LOL

Heather said...

Hmmm... well that's kinda funny - it seems that doc took my little attempt at levity a little too seriously.

Doc, you may very well be exactly who you say you are and you're probably right about Laura since the pulling of the blog seemed rather suspect, but please don't waste your precious time cursin' on my blog.

Heather said...

Oh and one other thing - MJ, I'm quite firmly attached, so you don't have to worry about me hitting on you even if I AM a dude.

Come to think of it though, you DID look rather hot in those mirror pics...

Michele said...

i'll be your alter ego any time, heather.

M J said...

You crack me up!

Seriously.

Gina said...

I hear you Heather. Seriously, any of us could be anyone.

I like a lot of anonymity, but that is just because I don't want anyone I know finding me!

My name really is Gina, though! ;)

Anvilcloud said...

It's difficult for me to imagine that someone could or would sustain a fake blog for long. I once read and was read by a faker. I figured it out, and I chose not to confront her and just stop reading her, but when I checked on her she had dropped out of sight anyway. My take is that if you want a blogging relationship of some kind, then be honest. You don't have to declare all, but you have to be true, or at least let us know if you're writing creatively. Otherwise, I'm not interested.

Melissa said...

You are so right about the attention thing. People seem to be trying to get attention everywhere, online too? I had a friend who was like your compulsive liar. One day I told her I didn't feel like going out, and when she saw my husband later that day she went off on him and called him a wife abuser who didn't let me do anything because he was too interested in controlling me.

Needless to say that was the last interaction either of us had with her.

Great post - you know, I wondered the same thing about laura and doc being the same person? hmm...

Joyce said...

doc doth protest too much....

I really like your attitude. Its true that sh*t happens, but what are we going to focus on? A lot of good and funny and honourable things happen too, and I'd rather spend most of my energy looking for that, whilst being wary of the bad in life.

jen lemen said...

yikes, who knew this could be such a charged subject. even within the realm of one's true identity, there are lots of versions of the truth to share, no alter egos needed. in my past blog life, my readers got the basketcase version--a daily account of my mental health. this time around, i'm starting out with the sunny side of life. i''m sure the real story is somewhere in between.

ccap said...

'Kay, I don't know doc or Laura so I'm completely out of the loop here. But I DO know that I'm not your sister. Well, not biologically anyway. Remember? I was adopted. At least that's what you and Dwight used to tell me quite regularly.

Heather said...

ccap, we love you even though you're adopted. And we tried hard to overlook the fact that you'd been raised by wolves before we so generously took you in.

Stephanie said...

Like you, I didn't really get the whole outrage over "A Million Little Pieces." But then again, I didn't read the book either.

I think I mostly assume that everyone is telling the truth (although some things could be exaggerated for comic effect) because blogging would be absolutely no fun if I thought it was all a bunch of lies. Plus, if I thought everyone was lying then I wouldn't really be able to appreciate or be encouraged by the comments people leave on my blog. I have to trust that people's sentiment is sincere even if it isn't. Otherwise, what's the point of allowing people to comment at all?

Good post. Made me think!

Anonymous said...

Doc? Laura? Could it be? Doctor Laura has been reading and responding to your blog?

Coll said...

Ok.. I admit.. I really do not know what is going on here.. but it does bring to mind a line from "Desiderata". "Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexations to the spirit."