Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Signs of sadness

I arrived at work late this morning, and just before I dashed over to the meeting I had to attend at the hotel next door, I glanced down at my shirt. There it was - the telltale sign of sadness. Snot on my shoulder. Little four-year-old snot from a sad little girl who cried on my shoulder while I tried to pry myself away and make it to my bus on time.

She's sad these days, my normally cheery little extroverted video-producer. She's sad because for the first time in her life, she has to spend her days away from her buddy, Daddy. Yesterday, I got a call that her tummy hurt and she was crying. Turns out, she was missing us. She cried several times last night, and then again this morning. It was horrible leaving her there this morning. I had to fight the tears as I rode the bus downtown.

It's caught us by surprise. She was so excited about daycare. The first few days, she was having so much fun being surrounded by new friends every day. But now the novelty has worn off, and she doesn't want to go anymore. "I have an idea," she said plaintively, "maybe I can go to Taylor and Noah's house." Nope, honey, that doesn't really work. "Well, then maybe Auntie Cyndi could look after me." Nope, I'm afraid not. You'll just have to try to be brave and get used to going to daycare.

I know this will get easier, but right now my heart is breaking.


Gina said...


and ((((Maddie)))) too!

Anvilcloud said...

I get you -- it hurts. But you're right -- it will get easier. Much.

Michele said...

sweet little munchkin. poor maddie. it reminds me of our struggles with micah.

The Passarelli's said...

Boy! Do I remember those day's!
I was a mess especially after Wendy died. I was fortunate to be able to make the decission to stay home with him that first year after she died. Pre-K got better and now kindergarten, he looks forward to going and waring a white shirt and tie.
It does get easier, in that respect. I even bring home his friends to play with after school so he looks forward to seeing them in school.

Liz said...

Poor little sweetie. I hope she feels better today.

Maria said...

God. Yes.

My daughter wasn't in daycare, but the first days of pre-school were so wrenching that I can still get a golf ball in my throat just thinking of those days of her clutching me and me feeling like I was going to break into a million pieces in the car driving away.

It will get better. It will get better. Say it like a mantra, ok?

Coll said...

I remember those days like it was yesterday. And when I look back, I can still feel the sadness and my guilt. Both of my young boys spent 2 years in daycare before they attended regular school. But.. it did get better.. and they did come to enjoy it much of the time. Now these two little boys are two big men and I could not be prouder of who they are and the fine men they have become. Hang in there.. it will be ok. Sometimes it is tough being a Mom.