Friday, September 01, 2006

Good thing she won't move away from home for eight years or so

I always think I’m not a very sappy mom. I almost feel a little guilty about it sometimes. I don’t get all choked up when the kids start school or have their first sleepover at a friend’s place. When our first baby moved out of our bedroom into her own room for the first time, it was Marcel who spent the night on the floor beside her crib, not me. When I go away on business trips, at least 5 times a year, people ask me “don’t you miss your kids like crazy?” And if I’m honest, I say, “not that much, really”. Oh, it’s not like I’m not happy to see them when I get home, or that I don’t think of them while I’m gone. But a few quiet nights in a hotel room by myself along with solitary evenings of eating out in nice restaurants (with my meals paid for) and wandering around a new city – really, it’s NOT a hardship. And I don’t pine for my children. I might feel a little sad when I miss an important event (like missing Nikki’s 10th birthday when I was in Africa) or I might feel guilty if they’re sick while I’m away, but I don’t miss them much. (Does that make me a bad mom?)

BUT… I think I’m getting sappier. Nikki’s going to a friend’s cabin for the long weekend and…well, I miss her already. I just phoned home to say goodbye before Marcel drops her off at her friend’s house, and, I’ll admit it, I wanted to hear at least a small hint in her voice that she was going to miss me. Nope. Nothing. Me, on the other hand – well, I got off the phone all choked up. Pathetic. Me – getting all blubbery. I suppose it has something to do with it being HER that will be away for three days instead of ME. It’s easier to be the nonchalant, not-missing-anyone person when you’re the one doing the gallavanting and having the adventures.

So, now I’m beginning to think that perhaps I’m just as sappy as nearly every other mother out there. I’ll probably wander around the house like a lost puppy when/if they go away to college or move out of the house.


Judy said...

Nah, you won't!

I'm waiting for my 22 year old to move out.

He did once, no, twice. He keeps coming back.

Actually, the whole point of having kids is to grow them up into respectable adults (well, part of the point anyway). I LOVE mine dearly, but we did intend for them to grow up and leave us.

I have several relatives with forty-something children who still live with them, and contribute NOTHING. It just seems sad to me. Like something went dreadfully wrong, somewhere.

And, I never missed my parents when I was away as a kid. I felt secure enough to believe that everything would be the same when I got back.

Occasionally, I get a wee bit weepy, but in a good way.

I've always thought that I would have been a fantastic mother if I had been deaf. It was all the noise that wore me out!

I'm still recovering.

Liz said...

I never miss mine when I go away either, which is not often. But next year, when the older one leaves, I fear I will be a blubbering idiot.

Amber said...

Hmmmm...I'm not sure how I'll react when my kids are gone. That's soooooo far in the future I can't even fathom that. All I know is how much I look forward to Haddie's weekly visit with Grandma. :-)

Linda said...

It is easier to be away knowing that they are loved and cared for by their dad, or grandparents.
I did a wee bit of travelling (3 times per year to Alberta) when my kids were young. I purposely took only my purse and a book on the plane. It felt so nice not to have to drag along all the paraphernelia that comes with children.