Tuesday, June 09, 2009


I had high hopes for this week. I took some time off work, and was dreaming of a magical week with lots of creativity and growing-of-new-things. But I may have overestimated the potential of a week off.

I haven't lost all hope, but... I've just discovered that I'm more burnt out than I realized. Yesterday was mostly a productive day (painting bold colours in Julie's room), but then I had to deal with a work issue (final approval for a video project), and suddenly I fell apart. The moment I had to go on my work email, my mood took a nosedive and I spent the rest of the day and evening trying to hide from my family the fact that I was fighting tears. (They thought I was spending an inordinate amount of time painting behind the door so they couldn't come in.)

I knew I was a little burnt out, but I thought I could just bury it and keep on coping. Maybe not.

So for the rest of this week, I'm not going to put much pressure on myself to finish the projects I was planning to work on (sigh). I'm just going to focus on making sure I don't fall apart all together.

On top of that, I just found out that a woman who lived across the street, whose 2 daughters were friends of Julie and Maddie, died on the weekend. I'm feeling heartsick.


Anvilcloud said...

I think you've come to grips with the fact that you have to relax and tend to yourself a little. Sometimes, you have to be and not do. And then not feel guilty. All the best.

mmichele said...

Wow. I just rode the rollercoaster of your last two posts. Lots of love to you. Hope you get all the revival/renewal that you need.

elainelaurin@hotmail.com said...

sometimes a real good breakdown/breakthrough can clear out so much residue in one sweep it is like coming back to life again all anew.. there is a great chapter in ..women who run with the wolves... on coming home to onesself, beautiful compassionate and so affirming, recommended reading for where you are.. best wishes