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Thursday, June 30, 2005

For Matthew

I got a little choked up when I read the link that Anvilcloud sent us to - where Real Live Preacher had written about the death of a premature baby. It sent me back to the time when I said good-bye to my own son. In memory of Matthew, here's a poem I wrote shortly after we lost him. Matthew, I still remember you.

Still

When I no longer move in your womb
And my heart stops beating with yours
Please remember me

When I’ve long since left you
With nothing to hold onto
And no-one to smother with kisses
Please remember me

When you’ve packed away
My never-worn clothes
And the crib with no imprint of me
Please remember me

When my sisters have grown
Past bunkbeds and barbie dolls
And I’m still your forever infant
Please remember me

When the world no longer knows that I was
And those who do call me “fetus”
Please remember me

7 comments:

ccap'sboy said...

Thanks for making me cry at work.

A great poem. Thanks for sharing it with us.

Linda said...

Thanks for reminding me once again of your beautiful son. The first time I ever sat down to talk with you and Marcel was to plan Matthew's service. I was honoured to be a part of that time in your life and was (and still am) impressed with your courage and honesty.

Auntie Sue said...

I remember you. I remember thinking that surely all the crying and hoping and praying that this incredible family I'm so lucky to have married into could do would make everything okay, and we would all get to see you grow. The amazing truth I didn't know was that even if you left us before you drew breath here, you would make as big an impact on us as the rest of your siblings and cousins have, each in their own way.

Jo said...

I remember too. I didn't know you well then but I was honoured to have heard your story and shared a small part of your pain. Thanks for making me cry too. Beautiful.

Anvilcloud said...

Thanks for giving me the opportunity to think about your Matthew.

Heather, I'd like you to know how much I appreciate your blog. I think my heart gives a little leap every time I see that you have published a new post.

Heather said...

Oh, Anvilcloud, you made my day!! Thanks! I love reading yours too!

Gina said...

That was beautiful, Heather.

I am wiping away the tears and definitely will not forget your precious baby boy.