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Friday, November 24, 2006

Not for the faint of heart

I am sick today. Sick, sick, sick. (I'm trying to think of a catchy metaphor to emphasize just how sick I am. 'Sick as a dog' just isn't working for me. 'Sicker than a mad cow?' Hmm... has potential.) I got whalloped by one of those stomach bugs that my body takes very, very seriously. I'm sure I threw up ten times last night. And I am not a polite, lady-like vomiter. Oh no - none of that for me! My wretching is violent and horrible and frightening for small children. Sometimes I swear my stomach will turn itself inside out, do a flip flop out my throat and into the toilet. Last night I'm sure I saw the shadow of death pass over me.

(Okay - if this is turning you off, feel free to visit someone else's blog. 'Cause it gets worse from here.) Perhaps the violent wretching contributes to the fact that I frequently pass out when I vomit. I think it cuts off the oxygen to my brain or something. Or else my brain says to my body parts "Okay folks, shut 'er down, this one looks like the death of us. Might as well make ourselves comfortable on the floor." It's pretty horrible. You don't even want to imagine what it's like to wake up on the floor in a pool of your own vomit. And last night it was even worse, because it was coming out both ends. (Am I going too far here? I SAID you could leave.)

Because he's used to me passing out, Marcel is usually right there beside me, trying to catch me when I fall. Let me tell you, there are few sounds more comforting when you're huddled over a toilet, than the rapid footsteps of the one you love.

I'm not sure Marcel knew what he was getting into when he said "in sickness and in health." When you're standing up there at the alter, ready to say "I do", you do not immediately picture your beloved lying in a pool of vomit. Nor do you imagine yourself cleaning her off and shuffling her back to bed.

And yet he shows up in the bathroom every time, and with a look of resolve on his face, puts his hand on my shoulder while I wretch. I don't care what anyone else says, but THAT'S how you define love. I can do without the flowers or chocolates or fancy dinners out, as long as I have that hand on my shoulder for as long as we both shall live.

15 comments:

Liz said...

Well my goodness, you are very good at describing yourself when sick!!

I've had to have Jim hold my hair a few times. You are right, that is true love!

ccap said...

Yup, I'm with you there. Or for me, holding my hand as I vomit my way through delivering a child.

But, I do like the flowers too.

Pamela said...

what a wonderful husband.
Mine wanted to be helpfulin past years when I was sick - and I always shut the bathroom door screaming leave me to be sick alone in peace

but now, I have acid reflux, and if I get the tummy pukes then I get esophageal spasms which pretty much put me on the floor too.

I welcome him to my side now.

Get well.

tlawwife said...

When my husband was on the road the thing I missed the most was him being their with a wet wash rag to wash my face when I was sick.

By the way you don't think that you will be contagious through the computer do you? That description sounds like you have some pretty powerful stuff. Hope you are feeling better soon.

Gina said...

You are absolutely right!

Get better soon!

Hope said...

Feel better Heather.... My son came home feeling ill this afternoon. You are so right. A gy that loves you while you are puking is a keper.

Whippersnapper said...

The gods are punishing you for posting that AWFUL picture of me yesterday,which I have only just seen... jeez Heather, you are just asking for trouble, you know I have all those pictures of you at your stag party!!
Get better sweetie, I'll phone you as soon as this darn baby falls asleep.

Thailand Gal said...

Well, gee, that certainly sounds like you were pretty darn sick! Your guy sounds like a good one! I've been that sick. It's miserable! Hope you are better very soon!


Peace,

~Chani

Anvilcloud said...

I'm having my second bout in a month of something or other, but I don't often sick up. I guess, that considering the alternative, I should be happy with my chills and sweats. But frankly ...

The very nice man said...

I am praying a special blessing for you and I am sending you protective angels into your house and around your family!
In the name of Jesus Christ I command all sickness and evil to leave your house as I declare it to be holy ground!

Dale said...

Donna used to put her hands on my shoulders as I knelt by the toilet. She'd often try to drown me as I retched.

(Just kidding. Sort of.)

I hope you're soon well again, Heather.

Linda said...

You're right. There's nothing that says I love you like standing by your side when you're retching and then fainting. I have to stand by Wes's side when he cuts himself. Unfortunately, I can't catch him the way Marcel catches you. I can only guide him to the couch and hope he makes it before he falls down in a faint.

BarnGoddess said...

you are lucky to have such a sweet (and strong stomached) husband!

Mine runs for the hills when it comes to throwing up....

Vicki said...

I've missed not being able to read your blog for the past few days. We've had Thanksgiving fun going on around here and closed our business for 4 days. It's been a nice break.

I'm glad you are back on your feet now. I love your description (ecck) of the sickness. My husband is one of those who only comes in when he has to. Since you went too far, I will also venture out there with you. Once he wiped my bottom after I had my son and was so sick with infection (C Section gone bad) I couldn't reach. I cried. He laughed and then told me he loved me. Now I agree. THAT'S what love is made of!

Joyce said...

did you MEAN to make me cry?!