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Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Sometimes

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Sometimes parenting wrenches your heart right out of your chest,
tosses it on the floor and stomps on it.
Sometimes you have to sit in the bathroom holding your daughter
and listening to her sob for half an hour
all the while knowing you can't do a damn thing to FIX IT.
Sometimes those beautiful children who own a big piece of your heart
bottle stuff up forever and then one day it's released
in a sudden outburst that results in a hotdog flying across the room.
Sometimes you have to live through the cruelties of life vicariously through your children
and sometimes that second-hand pain is almost worse
than if it were happening to you directly.
Sometimes you feel the weight of realization that you are the only safe place
where their deepest fears and troubled emotions can be unleashed.

And then sometimes you go to bed worrying about your beautiful daughter,
and through the basement floor you hear her humming along with her ipod,
a sure sign that the tears in the bathroom were just right for helping her carry on.
And sometimes you know that the best you can hope for is "carrying on".

7 comments:

squarepegperson said...

Found you thru Twitter (Thanks, Hiro Boga) your post went right to my heart! This is so true - both the pain and the sweet stuff.

mmichele said...

I love your beautiful girls.

Linnea said...

It sounds like we've traveled the same road, my friend (albeit with different daughters).

It's so hard when they're sobbing their hearts out and you know -- KNOW -- there's nothing for it but for them to walk through this pain, and even though you know the broken place will be stronger when it mends, it's such a wrench that you can't just fix it for them.

You're right; sometimes the best you can hope for is "carrying on." And sometimes, "carrying on" is the best thing any of us can do.

Hugs to you and your girls.

Karla said...

I know I'm heading down your road with my 3 girls any day now. What a gift to have a mom that does the holding and the listening.

Dovelily said...

What a beautiful post! I don't have children yet, so can only imagine how hard it must be to watch your children go through so much pain and not be able to fix it for them, but listening is sometimes the best fix of all. Much love and hugs. xx

Anvilcloud said...

Maybe you are your daughters' tree (see previous post).

Pamela said...

they are quite blessed to have you.