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Sunday, August 06, 2006

Bad timing

Perhaps while waiting for word from my husband who's gone to the hospital to find out what the cardiologist has to say about the shortness of breath that brought his father there early this morning is not the best time to listen to a sappy song about losing your life partner (see lyrics below) - especially if it's two days before the anniversary of the death of my own father. Perhaps I could have chosen another cd if I wanted to avoid tears.

And perhaps it would be easier to comfort Julie's tears with an "everything will be alright" platitude if she didn't already know the pain of losing a grandpa.

Perhaps everything will be alright and I'll write a cheery post tomorrow about our wedding anniversary. Perhaps it's just the universe's sick idea of a joke that our anniversary seems to be clouded with sadness, even though the marriage it commemorates is a mostly-happy one.

Perhaps I should listen to the wise words of Ray in church this morning and just "be still and wait for God."

Lest we forget,
your deeds as a younger man.
like how when you were nine,
you fell in love because she was the
first girl you'd seen throw a cricket ball.
You knew that you'd be together for the
rest of your lives.
Now you sit alone in the sun,
in the backyard, feeding the birds
reading the newspaper.
Thinking about the love
that you shouldnt have lost.

Love that you lost,
love that you shouldnt have lost.

When I was a child,
I didnt see her much.
She passed away before i was 5.
I was so young that it barely affected my life.
Then one day when i asked
you told me she was magnifacent.
all that i had was your word
and a photograph.
But that look in your eyes
told me all that I needed to know.

Love that you lost,
love that you shouldnt have lost.

- The Waifs

12 comments:

ccap said...

Yeah, I gotta say, getting a phone call at an unusual place in the beginning of August while we were in the midst of a fun summertime activity was just a bit too familiar and scarey.

J said...

I love the Waifs, and I hope that the song has no meaning beyond being a beautiful song. In other words, I hope everthing is OK.

Gina said...

Oh, prayers to Marcel, you and all the famliy! I hope everything is ok!

Dale said...

You're all in my thoughts and prayers tonight, Heather. I'm looking forward to your cheery post tomorrow.

Bobita said...

I am so very touched by these words, "...our anniversary seems to be clouded with sadness, even though the marriage it commemorates is a mostly-happy one."

My best to you, Heather.

Tricia Goyer said...

I think too often we don't want to play the cd that makes us cry because the tears scare us as much as the fear on the unknown. They crack us open and make us vulnerable.

When Jesus cried tears, he asked for friends to sit with him, yet they slept.

He never sleeps while we cry . . . and sometimes he even has random bloggers following links unaware, after staying up too late trying to meet a deadline, to stumbling upon an unfamiliar blog to say, "I'll pray all is well."

City Slicker said...

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Janet said...

Heather,

We're all thinking about you...hoping for better news soon.

Janet
(lordcelery.blogspot.com)

Hope said...

I find a song eases me through tough emotions. Almost like it carries me, allows me to float with it.
I'll pray for your family.

Stephanie said...

I'm praying everything is okay! Hugs to you.

Liz said...

I hope everything is OK, Heather and that you get to celebrate your anniversary happily.

Amber said...

Thanks for dropping by my space. My heart goes out to you and your family...we've had a string of bad health and I hope everything turns out well for you!!!!