My dearest Nikki

Ten years ago
you made me a mother
Ten years ago
after hours and days of pain and waiting
you joined your Daddy and me
and made us a family

In the wee hours of your first night on earth
after my body had stopped shaking
and my eyes had re-gained their focus
I tip-toed into the nursery just to gaze at you
because I missed the movement of you
in my body
In that moment
I fell in love

I should have known that
your reluctant entry into this world
would set the stage for
your approach to life
and that time would see you struggle through
so many more reluctant entries

Life is not always easy for you
my child, my firstborn, my thinker
You wrestle with things bigger than yourself
and in the end, victory comes with a price
You are wise beyond your years
and as deep as the ocean

Now, ten years into life,
your age is finally catching up with your mind
You’re more rested these days, relaxed,
knowing that some of your questions have answers
and you have the knowledge to find them
You don’t have to waste as much energy
on the unknown

Some answers may never come, my dear one
I think you know that
and it seems it’s becoming easier to accept
with your ten years of accumulated wisdom

You are beautiful
my child, my firstborn, my gift
you opened up my life
and showed me things I’d missed before
Your perspective
is so different from mine
and so delightful to be alongside

How rich my life has been
since you came