...especially when they're accompanied with tears:
"Why does my sister ALWAYS get better report cards than me? She gets almost all 'excellents', and I got 2 'needs improvement' and some 'fairs'."
"I never speak up in class because I'm too afraid I'll make a mistake and then I'll be embarrassed."
"I've been playing alone at recess for 2 weeks now because the last time I played with my friends, we got in trouble, and now I'm afraid of getting into trouble again. So I play alone."
"I wish I wasn't so dumb."
All this I heard tonight, and more. And now I am going to bed with a broken heart. How do I help this girl? Did I say the right things tonight?
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7 comments:
The parable of the talents springs to mind: "It's what you do with what you have." I also firmly beleive that some people's talents are very real but aren't obvious in the normal books'n larnin' system. If and how you can tailor that to where she's at right now, I can't begin to guess. Maybe I say it to succour you and not here. I dunno.
Oh, this mother's heart feels for your mother's heart. We hurt when our kids hurt don't we?
No matter what you said to your daughter tonight, the love behind what you said comes through loud and clear to her young heart and will help her get through this hurt.
As mother's we are programmed to want to "fix it" for our kids and we can't always do that. We can always listen and care though, and that is what they really need; to be heard and know that someone really cares.
Hang in there mom. You are doing a good job.
Cyber hugs are coming your way.
You know what to do. Hold her, Heather. And love her. All will be well. You're a great mum!
I think the words you say or don't say are secondary. She will remember your shared tears, your compassion and your deep love for her.
'Kay now my heart is breaking too. I'm sure it only made it worse when we (the rest of the family) were oohing and ahhing over J's report card. Dang it! And here I always thought I was plagued with the self-doubt (as a child) due to being the youngest, apparently it's not based on birth order.
Poor kid.
It can be so very hard being a parent and loving them so very much. I remember many times just wishing I could take away their pain. If only it were that easy.
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