I’m feeling a little vulnerable today – a little over-tired from tossing and turning (and not enough sleeping) last night, and a little discouraged about not being able to move into the next phase of my life as quickly as I’d like to (yes, I’m back at work and the stack of papers in my in-box just doesn't have the same ability to excite my passions that it once did) – so when I first saw Jamie Ridler’s question for wishcasting Wednesday, I closed the link and tried to ignore it. “I’m just going to have to be satisfied with closed doors for now,” I thought.But the truth is, I’m not satisfied. True to my nature, I want to rush headlong into the next adventure and I don’t want to WAIT. ANY. MORE! The door that flung itself open when the idea for my new site plopped into my lap is calling me to run through it with wild abandon… but I’m still stuck at the doorway. I can only go part way through the door until… well, until various things align and the timing is right for me to take the next big bold step.
I am not a patient person. I want stuff and I want it NOW! I know, I know… I have preached the value of waiting and being still and surrendering to the timing of the “god of my understanding”, BUT… (stomps her foot on the floor like a 3 year old) I don’t WANNA wait!
Sigh. Deep breath. Here I am, though, trying to make the best of it. In the meantime, while I only have a minimal amount of time to work on my big dream, I’m going to keep hoping, and dreaming, and planning, and throwing little fish hooks into the big blue ocean hoping to score a keeper. (Mixing metaphors again - I know, I KNOW!)
And when it comes to open doors, I’ve got a whole “mondo beyondo” list of things I’d like to see happen in the coming year (or so):
- Talk on the radio some more. Loved it! And maybe TV too.
- Speak at some conferences, retreats, etc. about “What are you giving away”
- Start doing “Giveaway parties” and have the idea catch fire
- Host a workshop and/or retreat (or two or three...)
- Write regular articles for a magazine – maybe a column?
And a couple of REALLY big ones:
- Get a book contract and an agent and some time to write the book version of “What are you giving away”
- Go to Africa again and gather some stories of people epitomizing the philosophy of “What are you giving away”
I could go on, but that’s definitely enough honesty for now. It feels a little scary to admit these things, but – what the heck? If you don’t put stuff out there, how can people support your dreams?
Note: It's been a little quiet in here lately. Ever since I launched the new site, comments have all but dried up. I appreciate all the support over at the new space, but (for now anyway) this will continue to be where I do more personal blogging, so please continue to leave some comment love here too!
18 comments:
You know that picture is inspiring enough - those colours. Is that somewhere you know? It makes me want to open up that other door and climb inside! It just leaves me to say:
As Heather wishes for herself, so I wish for her also.
I couldn't help but feel envy that at least you know what your inner voice is saying and what it wants and even if you are at the doorway you are headed in the right direction, Sometimes I can't hear what my inner voice is saying..
Love your post:)
I think it is such an honor to witness someone who allows themselves to be truthful and vulnerable and exposed within their dreams. It's courageous and inspiring. Thank you.
As you wish for yourself, so do I wish for you, dear Heather.
Oh, I know all too well how you are feeling. It will happen for you, Heather. I know it will.
If you *do* decide to go back to Africa... I have a good friend whose mother owns a guest house in Ghana, and I'm sure she'd love to have you stay - so let me know. (I have always wanted to go to Africa, too. Someday!)
As Heather wishes for herself, so I wish for her also.
Just see your "impatience" as great energy and find small ways to use it every day. Impatience can be very healthy! :)
As Heather wishes for herself, so I wish for her also.
Funny, I had a similar night and reaction to the wishcasting this morning. And god knows, I have a propensity for foot stomping too ;)
Thanks for putting it all out there honestly. You've got some big beautiful dreams here ... may they ALL come true. (Let us know what station and when to tune in when you get on TV, ok?)
Thanks for your kind comments.
In answer to the question about the photo, it was taken by me in Ethiopia. It's the shutters on a window in a building where we ate lunch and through which we watched a goat get killed for our supper. :-)
Heather, your photo is superb; your wish is heartfelt and I join you so that it comes about just as you desire.
As Heather wishes for herself, so I lovingly and with intention wish for her also.
As Heather wishes for herself, so also do I wish for her. Thank you for giving foot stomping permission. You have wonderful, bold, exciting wishes and I believe it will all come to you. I think it is just almost somethign I envy that you can name what you want, that eludes me. Fabulous wishes and a bright future I am sure!
When you go on that story-gathering field trip to Africa, I'd be more than happy to go along as your assistant/foot-washer/general slave. You'd have twice as many awesome photos and a whole boatload of artwork to use! All I ask is a dry crust and sip of water at dawn.
As Heather wishes for herself..I wish for her also.
You have now put it out there girl and Let Fly...now sit back and get ready for the ride!! Wonderful, powerful wish. BTW..I hate waiting too!! Namaste, Sarah
As Heather wishes for herself I so wish for her as well.
As Heather wishes for herself, so I wish for her as well. I so understand the little girl stomping her feet, I struggle with patience and waiting also.
Hey Heather,
Lots of mighty fine wishes you've got here. Returning to Africa most intriguing. Like your book title. Everything on your bucket wish list seems quite doable. I wish you do all of them!
Giulietta, Inspirational Rebel
As Heather wishes for herself, so I wish for her also.
I celebrate your courage with you, Heather. Your vision. This is already happening. Truly.
Blessed be.
I too, would love to come to Africa with you and wash your feet, wipe your brow and any other tasks that you deem necessary. That is one of my dreams - Africa -and I know that one day I will walk through that door.
As Heather wishes for herself, so too do I wish for Heather!
~Shamsi
Sorry I've been a bad blogging friend lately. I've been in a not in the mood kind of mood and I'm not sure why. Like you, I've been doing a lot of soul searching lately. Lucky for you that you've narrowed down your goals way more than I have. I envy your spirit Heather.
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