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Friday, April 13, 2007

Thinking, thinking, thinking...

Vicki and Robyn recently nominated me for the "Thinking Blogger" award, and I'm flattered. Truly I am. Sometimes I feel like Sally Fields accepting the Oscar - "You like me! You really like me!" (I do that almost every time I get a few comments too - it still surprises me that people are showing up.)

Accepting the award means that I'm supposed to pass it on to five more people. I've tried to do that a couple of times, but every time I tried, I had some kind of mental block and never got it done. WHOM should I pick? Out of all of those blogs I love to visit, which ones are written by "thinkers"? Well, they ALL are - otherwise I wouldn't waste my time. (Oh, and by the way, I haven't updated my blogroll for a long time, so if you're not on there, don't take it personally.)

Here's the thing... I'm not going to pass it on, even though there are lots of blogs on my blogroll that deserve it. The truth is, I'm starting to have an itty-bitty problem with all these blog awards floating around the internet. I know they're meant to be genuine and generous, but there's just something about it that makes me squirm a little - like I'm back in high school and stuck in a popularity contest time warp. "Aw, so-and-so got FIVE thinking blogger awards and I only got TWO. What am I doing wrong? Maybe I'm not wearing the right shoes with my outfit. Maybe I need to sit with the cool kids in the lunch room."

It's the same thing with comments. I try not to do it, but it happens almost in spite of myself. "Oh - that post only warranted 5 comments. What did I do wrong? Maybe I'm losing my touch." (Yikes! Now I sound like my mother every time she bakes buns!) Ridiculous, I know. That's why I've stopped looking at my stat counter. I don't want to obsess about how many people are showing up. I just want to write for the fun of it. That's why I started my blog in the first place. If people show up, that's a bonus, but I don't want to feel like I NEED that for validation.

So - thanks for the awards. (And please, PLEASE don't take offense - I'd hate to sound ungrateful or self-righteous.) But I think I'll pass this time. I'll keep thinking, and if my thoughts provoke yours, you're certainly welcome to let me know, but I don't need an award for it.

15 comments:

hellojed said...

I know what you mean. I started my blog to encourage me to write everyday, and I do enjoy it. But recently I've become a little hung up on visitor counts and comments. Like you said - I don't need the validation! Thanks.

BarnGoddess said...

I hear ya loud and clear.

I read here because I like how you write and I also want to read what you have to say.

There ARE too many blog awards out there....and I dont even pay attention to them!

Vicki said...

have you met Willowtree? LOL

Anvilcloud said...

I understand what you're saying. One reason that I don't want too many readers is that I can only read so many myself. Yes, it would be nice to have a multitude of comments, but I'm not sure if the price is worth it, and the truth of the matter is that few of us are so rivetting that people will return regularly without reciprocal comments.

Karmyn R said...

Well said.

I want to start my own award - give it out monthly to who I want (something that tickles my fancy). No tagging involved

Joyce said...

oh good grief Heather, you read my innermost mind once again. Sometimes I just want to smack myself when I over-think things like comments and the "crack" (site)meter.

Pamela said...

I followed the link back to the thinker award... and I think it was started by someone who just wanted to see how many links she could get back to her block.

I suspect it has surpassed her wildest imaginations by now

Dale said...

I sometimes get a hundred hits a day or more and not one comment. I simply scratch my old bald head and keep writing.

Hope said...

Blogging has not escaped the validation issues we all face in everything we do.
I work really hard on this area of my life, self validation.
It's true heather, we can and do get wrapped up in things perfect strangers may or may not think of us.

marnie said...

Some of these "awards" are a bit like those chain emails that immediately go into the recycle bin... pass it on or you will have 18 years of bad luck and your cat will pee in your shoe.

Oh, your ceremonial headdress is headed east. THAT is definitely an award worth receiving!

hehe.

Beccy said...

Pamela that thought had crossed my mind as well.

Well written Heather and keep up posting your thoughts!

Gina said...

Yup, I hear ya, babe.

Isn't it funny how the human psyche cries out for that validation, even though we know that we should "know" better? I for one got mired in it earlier this week, but I am starting to shake it off. Maybe I was PMS'ing just a LITTLE.

Alfa King said...

Award or no award. Competition or not. Writers will continue writing. If not for the reward (material, for the fun of it, as you rightly said.

I just started about the same time as Hellojed, and it's great fun, writing and reading others....

Bibi said...

You know what ... good for you. I think it's important to remember why you blog and (IMHO) it shouldn't be to collect the most comments.

Accidental Poet said...

That's why I don't post any of my own poetry, etc, on my blog - I don't want to get to a point where I care too much about comments. And it's harder to be removed from something I've spent months on than it is to be removed from something I banged out as procrastination :)